The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

[tanithryudo]

So, I, uh, watched this on fast forward. Basically, skipped scenes that didn't have elves in it. I didn't have a lot of expectations going into the film since I've read all the spoilers and know what I was getting into. And yeah, no pleasant surprises. Ugh.

Let's get the really obvious complaints out of the way.

1. Pacing was horrible. As bad as the last one.

Smaug. Dying barely past the opening credits. W. T. F.

No further major battle scenes about 2/3rds of the way through in favor of Thorin's little corner of the field. I thought this thing was supposed to be about armies?

2. Characterization was spotty.

Galadriel. WTF was she supposed to be? Weakling who couldn't bear up under the Nine? Powerful enough to zap off Sauron? Was she going dark or something with all that black-lighting? Cuz that's what the colors give off.

Tauriel. Ugh. Don't shoehorn in a female OC if you don't want her to be scrutinized. She was a horrible disappointment as a female character. She brought *nothing* to the table except a horrible romance that did not belong to this story. Also, threatened regicide (and kinslaying!). WTF. Did everyone forget this is supposed to be a Tolkien elf? Only thing she got right was not to get fridged.

Legolas. Poor boy. Three extra movies and they still couldn't give him a memorable characterization that could stand out beyond the other major characters. *sigh*


Honestly, outside of some moments of coolness, there's not much that this movie has going for it.

Anyways, the few things I liked:

Elrond & Saruman swashbuckling duo. Surprisingly hypnotic dance combo. *cough*

Thranduil. Awww, he's a good daddy; like, total and complete pushover when it comes to his son. Also, a pretty reasonable guy, and a decent king.

Did those eagles airdrop in bear cavalry? Oh, I think that was supposed to be Beorn.

And some of the fight scenes are nice. Too many of those builds up a tolerance unfortunately.


*sigh* I had such high hopes. Back before Hobbit 2 anyway. *shrug*

Comments

[cashew]

Don't forget that Thranduil is also a faaaabulous daddy. XD I have serious questions about the Hobbit choice in costumes. What the fuck was that on his head and why?

Anyway, my roommate has been complaining about how much it sucked, but then again, she seemed to hate the entire LotR movies. She's a bit of a book fanatic...

[tanithryudo]

If you mean Thranduil's head, it's supposed to be a woven crown. The version in the Hobbit 1 prologue is made of branches interwoven with leaves. The one in Hobbit 2 is made of branches interwoven with red berries (xmas holly wreath, lol).

Based on the book canon description that Thranduil's formal crown was made from the woods and changed with each season.

In Hobbit 3, while in battle he wore a normal metal tiara thing like most other elf lords (except Legolas until the end of ROTK).

[cashew]

Yeah, I was told this. However, I'm under the impression that it was a more wreath-like crown and less a semi-circle of eye-gouging spikes. Also, the crown looks really weird, more like a headband than a crown.

So basically in Hobbit 3, they completely ignored everything, just like the first two movies. ^^;

----

Okay, just watched the movie. Um...yeah, the elf-dwarf romance made me wanna puke. Ewwwwww. And is it just me or was Thranduil portrayed as a duchenozzle?

And also I am understanding the many BagginShield shippers. Still is stupid, but totally understand now. *shudders* This is actually one ship I could do without seeing.