Summaries that suck
Feb. 20th, 2004 12:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanithryudoI was skimming through ffnet, and having the typical problem of finding anything decent among the sludge of badfics out there. Then I figured, what the heck, even the badfics are something to write about. Of course, it's not like I want to subject myself to bad writing, so I'll just comment on the only bits of those fics I did read - the summaries.
Let's start off with LOTR.
2. What Would Happen? by Toby Keith Fanatic
I dived into the pool and started swimming. I closed my eyes; I could swim in a straight line. The pool felt like ice. This was too weird. I stood up. Where was I?
What in the world does 4 sentences describing a swim have anything to do with LOTR? That's just a waste of summary space. This guy (gal?) needs to look up the word "summary" in the dictionary. Even if you want to use a cliffhanger summary to entice people into reading your fic, you still have to give some background to the story. And no, a background does not consist of a single nonsensical event which quite obviously leads into a Mary Sue or Self Insert fic.
3. Unsheathed Love by Luvguurl
Legolas hears a strange noise while at the gates of Mordor during the war of the ring. R and R! LEGOMANCE!
First of all, the title? Soooo tacky. Especially since ffnet doesn't allow NC-17 fics and therefore this can't be a PWP sex fic. Second of all, the name of the author? Not helping. At all. Stuff like "luv" and "gurl" implies a very incompetent and immature author, who's probably not serious in her writing effort. The summary? Uh... makes no sense whatsoever in the context of LOTR canon. Legolas was only at the Black Gate once, and that was in the middle of an army off to face Sauron's forces. Any "strange noises" from that general direction is just Sauron's armies ready to crush the West. Anything that's not Sauron's armies over there is not gonna survive for more than 3 seconds, unless it's got author-granted Uber-Sue-Powerz. And romance? Puh-lease. So even if the author doesn't state it (and she bloody well should've), it's quite obvious to anyone who's even seen the *movie* that this is an AU or an AU/Sue-fic.
6. The Jewel by Juliet Faramirae
Torn from her world, Julie is brought to Middle Earth to fight against Mordor because of a prophesy. She ends up falling in love and a whole lot of other epic stuff happens.
I'm just including this one as an example of the perfect summary... of what a Mary Sue is.
11. The Untold Age by SaschaKonietzko
a war wizard encounters the fellowship at Amon Hen, to find her own path and walk into the Untold Age.
Note to summary writers... showing off that you're familiar with LOTR written canon ("Amon Hen") would make you look better only if you didn't also display incompetencies such as lack of capitalization of the start of a sentence, and the novel concept of a female "war" wizard. Someone who bothered to research what Amon Hen is but didn't bother to research that only the 5 Istari are called wizards in ME... well, is someone who did a really half-baked job at researching. And let's not even get into the Mary Sue-ness... that's become quite common, hasn't it?
23. Voronwe by Angelic Elf
Orianna does not trust Denethor and his judgment, even in her Father is one of the lords of the court. She stands to return the rightful king to his throne, even if none believe him to live. She will find the heir of Isildur, if it kills her.
Definitely a movie fic, for one. Definitely a girl who has not a bit of common sense, for another - and by this I mean both the auther and her Sue. Is it too much to hope that the "if it kills her" comes true, pronto?
52. Second Chance to Life by HyperActiveChildishFiend
A depressed girl commits suicide trying to find a way out of her sucky life and finds herself somewhere she does not want to be in. Middle Earth. She then finds herself hating this place and it's inhabitants this is a (LOC mary-sue but i don't care NOFLUF
If she commited suicide because her life sucks and she hates ME, then why the heck can't she run herself through the nearest orc blade and do everyone a favor? Not to mention which, if you don't care that you're writing something that sucks, then why should the readers care to read it?
75. Severity of Silence by Immortal Sadness
Aragorn must convince his friend leoglas that there is something to live for although the world is full of heat for the elven race. REVISED Chapter8 one of my author comments offended some people. So I thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Gads... if you can't spell one of the major characters of both the fic and the fandom right, then you've got no place to be writing that fic in the first place. And I suppose it's too much to ask that you at least do some research concerning what happens to elves after they die and how that would effect contemplations of suicide? Also, making sense would probably help your fic too... "full of heat" doesn't make any sense, in just about any context of the phrase.
Harry Potter fics
9. Under the Apocalypse by Akasha Ravensong
instead of a fairy tale, their lives were nightmares.Powers Rise to fight the darkness that threatens to consume them.Who will fight with HG,shall she face the dark alone.And If she falls who will catch her.For if she fails all else fails with her. HGSS
Pairing aside (I used to read HP/SS, so I've no room to complain about that), this summary not only sucks in that the author needs to learn capitalization and space-bar usage, but it's also nonsensical. It's a bunch of vaguely pompous statements that give no concrete background at all for the fic.
17. Somewhere I Belong by WriterChick2391
Raye Lily Potter and Harry James Potter used to be two unseperable twins. Until that fateful night- where murder was attempted on both of them. And now, when Jax (Raye) finds her way to Hogwarts- what will become of the two? R&R, rating might change.
Either this is an AU fic... or it's an AU fic. Definitely a Mary Sue... and please don't tell me it'll end up twincest.
19. SelfDiscovery by BlackKat99
A home attacked by returned Death Eaters, two family members disappear, a haunting tradgedy, and hidden power. I don't know what a Mary Sue is, so I don't know if this is one. Tell me if it is. The title sucks, but whatever. RR!
Another author who needs to discover what a summary is. The one sentence we get on describing the story tells us *nothing*. As for the Mary Sue thing... dude, it's *your* responsibility to find out what you're writing and what disclaimers you might need to put up, not the readers' responsibility. Plus, if you think your title sucks... why are you telling us this?
21. Waiting by Vree
Not everything is as it seems
*facepalm* [sarcasm]Oh that explains a lot.[/sarcasm]
42. Two In One by Padfut's-Moon
Harry is not just who we think he is... He isn't just the poor boy who got stuck living with the Dursleys, he's something else... he's something more... he's held secrets all his life and even Dumbledore doesn't know it... but what? You'll find out if you
Ah, here's an excellent example of the camouflaged-Sue/Avatar, or more commonly know as god-moding a canon character (see: most Ranma fics). Such specimens might be palatable to fantatics of the particular character being power-upped, but if your favorite character is on the short end of the power-granted spectrum, or if you're a fan of canon continuity, then tough luck to you.
Rurouni Kenshin fics:
8. How To Destroy Yahiko by Puchiko-dono
Do you hate Yahiko? I sure do. Find out how to torture and destroy him! Aw, I'm no good at summaries. But it's a funny story, guaranteed!
Ugh. Hate fics. And the last two sentences? Not engendering any belief here.
11. Ice Blue Eyes: A Lonely Chat by SweetSakuraDreams reviews
AoshixMisao 20 Years from now, the internet reigns supreme. Misao uses it for escape from a horrible reality. Will she find comfort online? Or maybe... love? You won't know unless you LOG ON, Click and READ! CH.2 UP!
Someone needs both a history lesson and a math lesson. RK took place in the 19th century, not in the late 20th century. Sheesh... that bit of research shouldn't even take 15 seconds to turn up.
13. Kenshin and Misao find Keniya and Trowa Himura by Ginger1280
What if Kenshin had adopted twin half demon elves who ended up missing a year before.Their real parents were Lilly and James Potter and their great grandparents were the rulers of caras galadhon and they were forced to become gundam pilots(one is Trowa)
Some things should not be crossed over. All of these fit under that description. Not only one of the fandoms from a different friggin' world, the time between Meiji to After Colony is significantly more than just a handful of generations.
21. Resurrection by KenshinandKarou
Battousai & Kaoru love each other, but Kaoru can't be touched by no man, except her future husband Akira. See full summary inside! KK all the way, slight YT AM
If the plot is as stupid as the summary... Oh and grammar check on "no man", unless the plot is even stupider than it looks.
Do you suppose this also belongs in editing_room,![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
cashew?
Let's start off with LOTR.
2. What Would Happen? by Toby Keith Fanatic
I dived into the pool and started swimming. I closed my eyes; I could swim in a straight line. The pool felt like ice. This was too weird. I stood up. Where was I?
What in the world does 4 sentences describing a swim have anything to do with LOTR? That's just a waste of summary space. This guy (gal?) needs to look up the word "summary" in the dictionary. Even if you want to use a cliffhanger summary to entice people into reading your fic, you still have to give some background to the story. And no, a background does not consist of a single nonsensical event which quite obviously leads into a Mary Sue or Self Insert fic.
3. Unsheathed Love by Luvguurl
Legolas hears a strange noise while at the gates of Mordor during the war of the ring. R and R! LEGOMANCE!
First of all, the title? Soooo tacky. Especially since ffnet doesn't allow NC-17 fics and therefore this can't be a PWP sex fic. Second of all, the name of the author? Not helping. At all. Stuff like "luv" and "gurl" implies a very incompetent and immature author, who's probably not serious in her writing effort. The summary? Uh... makes no sense whatsoever in the context of LOTR canon. Legolas was only at the Black Gate once, and that was in the middle of an army off to face Sauron's forces. Any "strange noises" from that general direction is just Sauron's armies ready to crush the West. Anything that's not Sauron's armies over there is not gonna survive for more than 3 seconds, unless it's got author-granted Uber-Sue-Powerz. And romance? Puh-lease. So even if the author doesn't state it (and she bloody well should've), it's quite obvious to anyone who's even seen the *movie* that this is an AU or an AU/Sue-fic.
6. The Jewel by Juliet Faramirae
Torn from her world, Julie is brought to Middle Earth to fight against Mordor because of a prophesy. She ends up falling in love and a whole lot of other epic stuff happens.
I'm just including this one as an example of the perfect summary... of what a Mary Sue is.
11. The Untold Age by SaschaKonietzko
a war wizard encounters the fellowship at Amon Hen, to find her own path and walk into the Untold Age.
Note to summary writers... showing off that you're familiar with LOTR written canon ("Amon Hen") would make you look better only if you didn't also display incompetencies such as lack of capitalization of the start of a sentence, and the novel concept of a female "war" wizard. Someone who bothered to research what Amon Hen is but didn't bother to research that only the 5 Istari are called wizards in ME... well, is someone who did a really half-baked job at researching. And let's not even get into the Mary Sue-ness... that's become quite common, hasn't it?
23. Voronwe by Angelic Elf
Orianna does not trust Denethor and his judgment, even in her Father is one of the lords of the court. She stands to return the rightful king to his throne, even if none believe him to live. She will find the heir of Isildur, if it kills her.
Definitely a movie fic, for one. Definitely a girl who has not a bit of common sense, for another - and by this I mean both the auther and her Sue. Is it too much to hope that the "if it kills her" comes true, pronto?
52. Second Chance to Life by HyperActiveChildishFiend
A depressed girl commits suicide trying to find a way out of her sucky life and finds herself somewhere she does not want to be in. Middle Earth. She then finds herself hating this place and it's inhabitants this is a (LOC mary-sue but i don't care NOFLUF
If she commited suicide because her life sucks and she hates ME, then why the heck can't she run herself through the nearest orc blade and do everyone a favor? Not to mention which, if you don't care that you're writing something that sucks, then why should the readers care to read it?
75. Severity of Silence by Immortal Sadness
Aragorn must convince his friend leoglas that there is something to live for although the world is full of heat for the elven race. REVISED Chapter8 one of my author comments offended some people. So I thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Gads... if you can't spell one of the major characters of both the fic and the fandom right, then you've got no place to be writing that fic in the first place. And I suppose it's too much to ask that you at least do some research concerning what happens to elves after they die and how that would effect contemplations of suicide? Also, making sense would probably help your fic too... "full of heat" doesn't make any sense, in just about any context of the phrase.
Harry Potter fics
9. Under the Apocalypse by Akasha Ravensong
instead of a fairy tale, their lives were nightmares.Powers Rise to fight the darkness that threatens to consume them.Who will fight with HG,shall she face the dark alone.And If she falls who will catch her.For if she fails all else fails with her. HGSS
Pairing aside (I used to read HP/SS, so I've no room to complain about that), this summary not only sucks in that the author needs to learn capitalization and space-bar usage, but it's also nonsensical. It's a bunch of vaguely pompous statements that give no concrete background at all for the fic.
17. Somewhere I Belong by WriterChick2391
Raye Lily Potter and Harry James Potter used to be two unseperable twins. Until that fateful night- where murder was attempted on both of them. And now, when Jax (Raye) finds her way to Hogwarts- what will become of the two? R&R, rating might change.
Either this is an AU fic... or it's an AU fic. Definitely a Mary Sue... and please don't tell me it'll end up twincest.
19. SelfDiscovery by BlackKat99
A home attacked by returned Death Eaters, two family members disappear, a haunting tradgedy, and hidden power. I don't know what a Mary Sue is, so I don't know if this is one. Tell me if it is. The title sucks, but whatever. RR!
Another author who needs to discover what a summary is. The one sentence we get on describing the story tells us *nothing*. As for the Mary Sue thing... dude, it's *your* responsibility to find out what you're writing and what disclaimers you might need to put up, not the readers' responsibility. Plus, if you think your title sucks... why are you telling us this?
21. Waiting by Vree
Not everything is as it seems
*facepalm* [sarcasm]Oh that explains a lot.[/sarcasm]
42. Two In One by Padfut's-Moon
Harry is not just who we think he is... He isn't just the poor boy who got stuck living with the Dursleys, he's something else... he's something more... he's held secrets all his life and even Dumbledore doesn't know it... but what? You'll find out if you
Ah, here's an excellent example of the camouflaged-Sue/Avatar, or more commonly know as god-moding a canon character (see: most Ranma fics). Such specimens might be palatable to fantatics of the particular character being power-upped, but if your favorite character is on the short end of the power-granted spectrum, or if you're a fan of canon continuity, then tough luck to you.
Rurouni Kenshin fics:
8. How To Destroy Yahiko by Puchiko-dono
Do you hate Yahiko? I sure do. Find out how to torture and destroy him! Aw, I'm no good at summaries. But it's a funny story, guaranteed!
Ugh. Hate fics. And the last two sentences? Not engendering any belief here.
11. Ice Blue Eyes: A Lonely Chat by SweetSakuraDreams reviews
AoshixMisao 20 Years from now, the internet reigns supreme. Misao uses it for escape from a horrible reality. Will she find comfort online? Or maybe... love? You won't know unless you LOG ON, Click and READ! CH.2 UP!
Someone needs both a history lesson and a math lesson. RK took place in the 19th century, not in the late 20th century. Sheesh... that bit of research shouldn't even take 15 seconds to turn up.
13. Kenshin and Misao find Keniya and Trowa Himura by Ginger1280
What if Kenshin had adopted twin half demon elves who ended up missing a year before.Their real parents were Lilly and James Potter and their great grandparents were the rulers of caras galadhon and they were forced to become gundam pilots(one is Trowa)
Some things should not be crossed over. All of these fit under that description. Not only one of the fandoms from a different friggin' world, the time between Meiji to After Colony is significantly more than just a handful of generations.
21. Resurrection by KenshinandKarou
Battousai & Kaoru love each other, but Kaoru can't be touched by no man, except her future husband Akira. See full summary inside! KK all the way, slight YT AM
If the plot is as stupid as the summary... Oh and grammar check on "no man", unless the plot is even stupider than it looks.
Do you suppose this also belongs in editing_room,
cashew?
