One word: Parents

[tanithryudo]

Went back to xmas dinner party at my parents today, and am I glad I was able to talk my way to come back today too. (Cashew can attest, she got dragged along with me.) I can totally understand why the holiday season drives the sales of Tylenol and other stress relievers. Why anyone thought family (& friends) gatherings were a 'good' idea is beyond me.

My parents, being the typical Chinese parents, have been completely driving up the wall for the last few days. I missed their phone calls for all of two days (I was actually trying to avoid them at the time) and my mom drives up to Berkeley to check if I 'was alive or not'. Then they practically strongarm me to immediately accept this job offer that I've just received from Cisco, when though I was pretty clear I felt pretty lukewarm about it and I would like to take some time off for a break after finishing school. And then there's the constant comparisons of children between the various parents there - while said children were still in the same house and can perfectly here their comments; hello, tact?

First of all, my parents need to learn to let go. I'm more than old enough to be out on my own. If I have some huge life-altering decision that I need advice on, I will ask. Otherwise, how about letting me make my own choices in life? Of course, that's just crazy talk when it comes to my parents. So usually I have to resort to outright obfuscations and vague denials.

Second, does anyone else except us children of those stereotypical Chinese parents who see the complete b***s*** that our parents feed us about 'oh your life is yours to walk and your decisions are all your own' and 'if you're not doing school or work then you're just wasting your life away and THAT IS NOT ALLOWED!!!!111one'? I mean, I know of other kids who can just take a half-year or year off after school to relax and go travel to Europe while they're young enough to have fun before they go work or to grad school, and they're parents are fairly understanding of it. But mine won't even begrudge me an extra month of winter break if they can force me to start working before other Cal students even start their spring semester here.

Third, I think it's an utterly sick and cruel way to coerce kids (and I'd bet my entire Tenipuri doujin archive that the typical Chinese parent doesn't think of this as 'coercion') to do what they want by exaggerating any problems you might have with them into some hideous character flaw among your fellow parents while comparing them to other kids, either as a devious way to get other parents to say nice stuff to defend your kids, or as a mutual condemnation/critique group with each parent harping about their own kid. Well, ok, I wouldn't care if they did this on their own time, but how about not doing this well most of said kids ARE IN THE SAME HOUSE? I mean, if I go somewhere with a friend and they start saying bad things about me to our mutual friends, then why the hell would I still be friends with this dude? I wouldn't. Unfortunately, we can't pick and choose our parents that way. More's the pity.

My parents can't understand why I insisted on returning to Berkeley today instead of staying over for Christmas and the next few days. I felt more stressed coming out of that place than before most of my exams. Must be from all that quick thinking needed to invent lies and excuses to field all of their nagging/interrogation/coercion. *rolleyes*

Anyway, it's good to be back. For however much time I have left.