PoT fic: That Time of Month (parts 1 & 2)
Apr. 14th, 2005 11:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanithryudoTitle: That Time of Month (parts 1 & 2)
Series: None (though later parts may cross over into the Psidai series)
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Rating: PG
Pairing: Golden Pair
Genre: Crack and humor
Word Count: 517, 909
Edit: This fic is dedicated to the Golden Pair,whose teamup has been terminated (slaughtered, torn apart, ripped asunder, walked over, defiled...) by Konomi in the PoT manga. T_T (4/22 Update: On receiving further information about the manga, the jury is still out on what's going on between Eiji and Oishi. There are indications of the possibility that Eiji is just having a lover's spat about Oishi not telling him about the full extent of his injuries. So I'm going to reserve judgment until things are explained to my satisfaction.)
That Time of Month
~~ One: Oishi ~~
One year ago…
“GYAAAH!” The loud wail resounded through the Oishi household. It was immediately followed by the sound of running feet and a door being slammed open.
“Sis?!” Oishi called out as he crashed into his sister’s room. Seeing his little sister lying curled up on the bed, he immediately rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m… I’m in pain,” came the bare whisper.
“Are you hurt?! Do you need to see the doctor? Should I call the ambulance?!”
Oishi was already taking out his cell phone when his collar was seized in a small yet surprisingly strong grip, and he was pulled down to face level with his sister. It was amazing how a face contorted in pain could still look so ruthlessly demonic.
“I need Midol. And tampons. Go buy them. Now.”
“H-hai!”
Oishi was halfway to the nearest grocery store when it finally clicked in his mind what his sister had just asked him to do. Well, it was too late to back out now, he reflected. He was just going to have to bear it like a man.
He repeated the mantra a few more times when he stood facing the women’s aisle of the store. It was for the physical well being of his little sister, he told himself sternly. Blushing furiously, he shuffled into the aisle and stared blankly at the many different kinds of boxes lined up from ceiling to floor.
“Oh, a young man,” came the surprised voice of a middle aged lady browsing the shelf next to him. “Are you getting something for your girlfriend?”
Oishi blushed hard. “N-No… It… It’s my sister…”
“Ah,” the woman nodded knowingly. “Such a good brother you are. Do you know what brand to get her?”
“No,” Oishi reluctantly admitted. “I didn’t know there were so many different ones. Does it matter?”
“Does it matter?! Of course it matters,” the woman told him sternly. “Every woman has special brands, styles, and sizes for every stage of her cycle. I know I’d just die without my special brands every time. It’s why I do the shopping myself. My husband simply can’t be trusted to buy the right ones…”
As she muttered on, the woman seemed to have forgotten Oishi, who was listening wide-eyed to her rant. Oishi turned back to the shelf and gulped. He didn’t know his sister’s preferred brands. What should he do? What if he got the wrong ones? His little sister seemed to be in so much pain. Would she die?!
Fifteen minutes later, the door to the Oishi household opened with a weary “tadaima!”
His sister came rushing out. “Oniisan! What brand did you--oh!”
Oishi carefully put down the several large bags he was carrying, each filled to the brim with brightly colored boxes.
“Ah, sorry for taking so long! I didn’t know which type you wanted, so I got one of every kind and size just in case. Anou… is that okay?”
He suddenly found himself with an armful of overly weepy little sister.
“WAAAH! Shuichiroh is the best oniisan ever!”
“Etou… I… can’t… breathe…”
~~ Two: Eiji ~~
It was a fact that the three women of the Kikumaru household always had their monthly cycles perfectly synchronized. It was also a fact that while the Kikumaru women were not typically afflicted by painful cramps during their cycle, they did go through some very wild mood swings, and generally made the life of any male in the household nearest their vicinity hell on earth.
So far, Eiji, the youngest boy of the house, had been very lucky in being spared the nightmares that his father and brothers had endured. However, in one particular month, his luck ran out. His father was late coming home from his job, and his brothers had already headed for the hills when for once they realized the date early.
“EEIIIJIIIII!!”
“Nya?” Eiji blinked at his two sisters looming over him. He’d just gotten home. He couldn’t have done anything to piss them off yet.
“We’re OUT of tampons!”
“Eh?” Eiji blinked bewilderedly. “What’s that got to do with me?”
“So go out and BUY some!”
Eiji took step back, wondering when his sisters started growing fangs. But he wasn’t about to let them just order him around like that.
“Why can’t you buy them yourself?!”
But he was already speaking to a closed door, as somehow he’d been shoved out the door and had said door slammed in his face.
“Don’t come back unless you have them!” came the loud yell from behind the door.
Eiji fumed for a moment at the unfairness of it all. He had no idea what the heck they wanted him to buy and where to buy them. So he did the only thing he could.
Ten minutes and a quick sprint later, Eiji was knocking at a familiar door.
“Eiji?” Oishi blinked at his partner upon answering his door. “What is it?”
“Nya, Oishi, my sisters are so mean!” Eiji huffed as he let himself into the house, his arms flailing as he ranted. “They kicked me out of the house and told me they won’t let me back unless I go buy them tampons! Why can’t they buy it themselves! I don’t even know where to look for whatever it is! Oishi! You have to help me!”
Oishi took a moment to work through his partner’s ranting. “Oh, yeah, my sister needs those every month too. We have a lot of leftovers from last time. You can just take some of them.”
“Yatta! I knew you could help me!” It never occurred to Eiji that one normally did not go to their doubles partner in boy’s tennis for feminine hygiene products.
Eiji enthusiastically followed his partner to a closet door at the back of the house. Oishi swung open the door to reveal the closet stuffed full from ceiling to floor with colorful boxes of tampons and pads of every single brand, type, and size imaginable.
“Which brand does your sisters use?” Oishi asked.
Eiji goggled at all the different boxes. “Anou… I dunno. Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters a lot,” Oishi affirmed solemnly. “My sister is always so picky. I could never understand it, so I always just buy one of everything just in case.” It never occurred to Oishi that there should be a limit on always being prepared either.
Seeing Eiji’s continued confusion, Oishi huffed and decided for him. “Well, since you don’t know, I guess we’ll just take a couple of different ones and see which ones they need.”
That was how two boys entered the Kikumaru household fifteen minutes later with several bags full of various kinds of tampons. Two seconds after that, they were swarmed by two ecstatically weepy girls and one overly emotional mother.
“WAAAH! EIJI! You did GREAT this time!”
“YEAH! You’re the BEST, Otouto-chan! How did you FIND this brand?! It’s ALWAYS sold out!”
Eiji wondered at the sudden change in his sisters’ moods. “Eh? It wasn’t me. I just went to Oishi and he got them for me.”
That was perhaps not the wisest thing to say, because Oishi suddenly found himself being mobbed by two older girls.
“WAAAH! Oishi-kun is so AWESOME!”
“YEAH! He’d make such a GREAT brother-in-law!”
“W-What?” Oishi wasn’t sure he heard correctly. Brother-in-law? When did that happen?
“Saa,” now Eiji’s mother was kindly patting him on the head. “Oishi-kun is such a nice and considerate boy. Why can’t you be like him, Eiji?”
“Oi!” Eiji protested, pouting.
“Anou… thank you?” Oishi stammered, blushing.
“AWWW! He’s so CUTE!” gushed the two sisters. “Can we KEEP him?”
“Eh?” Oishi suddenly found himself in a hug from Eiji’s mother.
“Of course! Consider yourself affianced, Oishi-kun!” the Kikumaru house matron announced. “I’m sure you and Eiji will be great together!”
“EH?” This time both boys goggled at the uncharacteristically flighty woman.
It was just at that moment that Eiji’s father arrived home, right in time to hear his wife’s pronouncement.
“What? Eiji engaged? When did this happen?”
He suddenly found three glowering and fanged women in his face, and belatedly realized just what time of the month it was.
“You object, Dear?” Eiji’s mother asked flatly.
Faced with three women undergoing mood swings the size of the Tokyo Tower, Eiji’s father wisely folded. For the third time in the day, Oishi found himself with someone’s arm slung across his shoulders.
“Well, consider yourself a part of the family, son.”
“Anou… thank you…?”
Oishi wondered how he was going to explain this to his parents.
~*~*~
Translations:
Tadaima = I'm home
Oniisan = Older brother
Otouto = Little brother
Author's Notes:
This came about from more post-dinner crack discussed between me and![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
cashew.
I'm going to have to scrap or change the part with Fudomine though. After looking up the bio's, it seems that both Shinji and Kamio have older sister(s), so they can't be clueless with Ann. I guess I'll figure something out. Also, regarding Hyotei, it seems that neither Shishido nor Ohtori have sisters. Mukahi and Oshitari, on the other hand, do. Ah well.
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis and all associated characters belong to Konomi-sensei. Midol doesn't belong to me either. Don't sue me over this. It ain't worth it.
Series: None (though later parts may cross over into the Psidai series)
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Rating: PG
Pairing: Golden Pair
Genre: Crack and humor
Word Count: 517, 909
Edit: This fic is dedicated to the Golden Pair,
One year ago…
“GYAAAH!” The loud wail resounded through the Oishi household. It was immediately followed by the sound of running feet and a door being slammed open.
“Sis?!” Oishi called out as he crashed into his sister’s room. Seeing his little sister lying curled up on the bed, he immediately rushed to her side. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m… I’m in pain,” came the bare whisper.
“Are you hurt?! Do you need to see the doctor? Should I call the ambulance?!”
Oishi was already taking out his cell phone when his collar was seized in a small yet surprisingly strong grip, and he was pulled down to face level with his sister. It was amazing how a face contorted in pain could still look so ruthlessly demonic.
“I need Midol. And tampons. Go buy them. Now.”
“H-hai!”
Oishi was halfway to the nearest grocery store when it finally clicked in his mind what his sister had just asked him to do. Well, it was too late to back out now, he reflected. He was just going to have to bear it like a man.
He repeated the mantra a few more times when he stood facing the women’s aisle of the store. It was for the physical well being of his little sister, he told himself sternly. Blushing furiously, he shuffled into the aisle and stared blankly at the many different kinds of boxes lined up from ceiling to floor.
“Oh, a young man,” came the surprised voice of a middle aged lady browsing the shelf next to him. “Are you getting something for your girlfriend?”
Oishi blushed hard. “N-No… It… It’s my sister…”
“Ah,” the woman nodded knowingly. “Such a good brother you are. Do you know what brand to get her?”
“No,” Oishi reluctantly admitted. “I didn’t know there were so many different ones. Does it matter?”
“Does it matter?! Of course it matters,” the woman told him sternly. “Every woman has special brands, styles, and sizes for every stage of her cycle. I know I’d just die without my special brands every time. It’s why I do the shopping myself. My husband simply can’t be trusted to buy the right ones…”
As she muttered on, the woman seemed to have forgotten Oishi, who was listening wide-eyed to her rant. Oishi turned back to the shelf and gulped. He didn’t know his sister’s preferred brands. What should he do? What if he got the wrong ones? His little sister seemed to be in so much pain. Would she die?!
Fifteen minutes later, the door to the Oishi household opened with a weary “tadaima!”
His sister came rushing out. “Oniisan! What brand did you--oh!”
Oishi carefully put down the several large bags he was carrying, each filled to the brim with brightly colored boxes.
“Ah, sorry for taking so long! I didn’t know which type you wanted, so I got one of every kind and size just in case. Anou… is that okay?”
He suddenly found himself with an armful of overly weepy little sister.
“WAAAH! Shuichiroh is the best oniisan ever!”
“Etou… I… can’t… breathe…”
It was a fact that the three women of the Kikumaru household always had their monthly cycles perfectly synchronized. It was also a fact that while the Kikumaru women were not typically afflicted by painful cramps during their cycle, they did go through some very wild mood swings, and generally made the life of any male in the household nearest their vicinity hell on earth.
So far, Eiji, the youngest boy of the house, had been very lucky in being spared the nightmares that his father and brothers had endured. However, in one particular month, his luck ran out. His father was late coming home from his job, and his brothers had already headed for the hills when for once they realized the date early.
“EEIIIJIIIII!!”
“Nya?” Eiji blinked at his two sisters looming over him. He’d just gotten home. He couldn’t have done anything to piss them off yet.
“We’re OUT of tampons!”
“Eh?” Eiji blinked bewilderedly. “What’s that got to do with me?”
“So go out and BUY some!”
Eiji took step back, wondering when his sisters started growing fangs. But he wasn’t about to let them just order him around like that.
“Why can’t you buy them yourself?!”
But he was already speaking to a closed door, as somehow he’d been shoved out the door and had said door slammed in his face.
“Don’t come back unless you have them!” came the loud yell from behind the door.
Eiji fumed for a moment at the unfairness of it all. He had no idea what the heck they wanted him to buy and where to buy them. So he did the only thing he could.
Ten minutes and a quick sprint later, Eiji was knocking at a familiar door.
“Eiji?” Oishi blinked at his partner upon answering his door. “What is it?”
“Nya, Oishi, my sisters are so mean!” Eiji huffed as he let himself into the house, his arms flailing as he ranted. “They kicked me out of the house and told me they won’t let me back unless I go buy them tampons! Why can’t they buy it themselves! I don’t even know where to look for whatever it is! Oishi! You have to help me!”
Oishi took a moment to work through his partner’s ranting. “Oh, yeah, my sister needs those every month too. We have a lot of leftovers from last time. You can just take some of them.”
“Yatta! I knew you could help me!” It never occurred to Eiji that one normally did not go to their doubles partner in boy’s tennis for feminine hygiene products.
Eiji enthusiastically followed his partner to a closet door at the back of the house. Oishi swung open the door to reveal the closet stuffed full from ceiling to floor with colorful boxes of tampons and pads of every single brand, type, and size imaginable.
“Which brand does your sisters use?” Oishi asked.
Eiji goggled at all the different boxes. “Anou… I dunno. Does it matter?”
“Yes, it matters a lot,” Oishi affirmed solemnly. “My sister is always so picky. I could never understand it, so I always just buy one of everything just in case.” It never occurred to Oishi that there should be a limit on always being prepared either.
Seeing Eiji’s continued confusion, Oishi huffed and decided for him. “Well, since you don’t know, I guess we’ll just take a couple of different ones and see which ones they need.”
That was how two boys entered the Kikumaru household fifteen minutes later with several bags full of various kinds of tampons. Two seconds after that, they were swarmed by two ecstatically weepy girls and one overly emotional mother.
“WAAAH! EIJI! You did GREAT this time!”
“YEAH! You’re the BEST, Otouto-chan! How did you FIND this brand?! It’s ALWAYS sold out!”
Eiji wondered at the sudden change in his sisters’ moods. “Eh? It wasn’t me. I just went to Oishi and he got them for me.”
That was perhaps not the wisest thing to say, because Oishi suddenly found himself being mobbed by two older girls.
“WAAAH! Oishi-kun is so AWESOME!”
“YEAH! He’d make such a GREAT brother-in-law!”
“W-What?” Oishi wasn’t sure he heard correctly. Brother-in-law? When did that happen?
“Saa,” now Eiji’s mother was kindly patting him on the head. “Oishi-kun is such a nice and considerate boy. Why can’t you be like him, Eiji?”
“Oi!” Eiji protested, pouting.
“Anou… thank you?” Oishi stammered, blushing.
“AWWW! He’s so CUTE!” gushed the two sisters. “Can we KEEP him?”
“Eh?” Oishi suddenly found himself in a hug from Eiji’s mother.
“Of course! Consider yourself affianced, Oishi-kun!” the Kikumaru house matron announced. “I’m sure you and Eiji will be great together!”
“EH?” This time both boys goggled at the uncharacteristically flighty woman.
It was just at that moment that Eiji’s father arrived home, right in time to hear his wife’s pronouncement.
“What? Eiji engaged? When did this happen?”
He suddenly found three glowering and fanged women in his face, and belatedly realized just what time of the month it was.
“You object, Dear?” Eiji’s mother asked flatly.
Faced with three women undergoing mood swings the size of the Tokyo Tower, Eiji’s father wisely folded. For the third time in the day, Oishi found himself with someone’s arm slung across his shoulders.
“Well, consider yourself a part of the family, son.”
“Anou… thank you…?”
Oishi wondered how he was going to explain this to his parents.
Translations:
Tadaima = I'm home
Oniisan = Older brother
Otouto = Little brother
Author's Notes:
This came about from more post-dinner crack discussed between me and
cashew. I'm going to have to scrap or change the part with Fudomine though. After looking up the bio's, it seems that both Shinji and Kamio have older sister(s), so they can't be clueless with Ann. I guess I'll figure something out. Also, regarding Hyotei, it seems that neither Shishido nor Ohtori have sisters. Mukahi and Oshitari, on the other hand, do. Ah well.
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis and all associated characters belong to Konomi-sensei. Midol doesn't belong to me either. Don't sue me over this. It ain't worth it.
