Psidai fic: Behavioral Sciences
Mar. 21st, 2005 04:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tanithryudoTitle: Behavioral Sciences
Authors:![[insanejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/ij-userinfo.gif)
tanithryudo & cashew
Series: Psidai AU
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Rating: PG for innuendo
Warnings: Some OOC-ness... sort of?
Word Count: 4023
“Canon” Pairings: Atobe/Tezuka/Fuji, Golden Pair, InuKai, MomoRyo, ShishiTori, Kamio/Ann, Sanada/Yukimura, Mizuki/Yuuta
Crack Pairings: Atobe/Tezuka/Fuji, MomoKai, Fuji/Yuuta, Momo/Ann/Shinji/Kamio, Tezuka/Ann, Fuji/Atobe, Saeki/Fuji, Sengoku/Yukimura, Jakkaru/Marui
(No, there is no orgy involved)
Summary: Inui tries out his newest juice concoction on Kaidoh. Yanagi joins in. Everyone else is disturbed.
Timeline: Takes place in Inui's and Yanagi’s 3rd year (Kaidoh’s 2nd year) at Psidai, probably in the early fall when mating season is.
Notes: This fic was inspired by coke (the caffeinated kind) and watching cashew working with the tucos today. Beware the insane fangirls!
Behavioral Sciences
It was one of those ideas that only assistant coach Yamato could have come up with. In yet another attempt to foster “intra-club integration” of the various cliques divided among former high school teams among the undergraduates of Psidai’s tennis club, the usual victims of his plans found themselves forced together in a group picnic at one of Psidai’s many parkland extensions. And just as usual, the event started off with a lot of awkward silence and tension-filled glares between the various rivals present.
Finally, it was Inui Sadaharu, formerly of Seigaku, who attempted to breach the uneasy silence. It was perhaps an inauspicious beginning that he did so by pulling out one of his newest concoctions and waving it in front of his kouhai and unofficial roommate.
“Kaidoh, I believe I’ve finally resolved the complaints you’ve had about my drinks with this latest version of Inui Juice,” he said, grinning as light glinted off his glasses. “Would you try it?”
Kaidoh stared at the small flask of perfectly clear liquid with something akin to terror. “Iya!” he reflexively refused, trying to scoot away from his senpai.
Undaunted, Inui merely pushed up his glasses with his other hand as he kept pushing the flask at Kaidoh. “Come now, Kaoru,” he coaxed, lowering his voice teasingly, “I’ve worked hard to adjust this to your palate. Just taste it. If it’s not to your liking, then I promise that…” He leaned in close and whispered something into Kaidoh’s ear.
Whatever Inui said to him, Kaidoh merely blinked in reaction to it (and therefore his former Seigaku teammates were pretty sure it wasn’t anything ecchi). He gave Inui a suspicious look, but nevertheless accepted the flask. Under the watchful eyes of the rest of those gathered (all of whom were familiar with the reputation if not the experience of Inui’s potions), he raised it to his mouth and barely touched the liquid surface with the tip of his tongue.
There was a pause as the avid watchers waited for Kaidoh to suddenly keel over or make a run for the bushes. To their surprise, and probably to Kaidoh’s own, he was perfectly fine when he looked back up to Inui moments later with a mixed expression of wonder and wariness.
“It’s… bland,” Kaidoh murmured as if tasting the word that seemed far too alien in a sentence concerning his senpai’s potions.
Inui leaned back where he sat with a satisfied expression. “Success,” he declared. “Since you can’t stand the usual taste and don’t like sweets much either, I thought this would be the perfect solution.” He smiled at Kaidoh, his glasses glinting again. “Well? Will you drink it?”
Giving Inui one last suspicious look, Kaidoh allowed his curiosity to override his still-wary instincts for once and drained the rest of the small flask in one swallow. Again, he waited a moment for the usual pain and nausea to hit, but was pleasantly surprised that he felt nothing.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. As Kaidoh stared at the empty flask in his hands, he thought he felt a little lightheaded. But it wasn’t a bad feeling at all. Actually, it was almost pleasant, as if he was drifting away on a soft hazy cloud…
Sitting a small distance away with the rest of the former Rikkai group, Yanagi Renji smiled to himself as he heard the light whispers of surprise from all around. ‘Sadaharu,’ he thought, ‘I see you’re up to your old tricks again.”
Inui’s smile turned smug as he counted down the seconds it would take for his concoction to completely take effect, ignoring the questions being shot at him from his former teammates. He noted the exact moment when Kaidoh’s eyes glazed over and took on the inner shine that signified the activation of his psi-ability.
“By the way, Kaidoh,” he asked as he shifted closer to where the younger man sat, “how has little Inui been doing lately?”
The conversation and question around him stopped suddenly as everyone pondered the strange non-sequitor.
“Eh?” Eiji wondered aloud what everyone was thinking. “Little Inui?”
But apparently Kaidoh knew exactly who (or what) Inui was referring to. Still staring at the flask, he muttered in reply, “He’s gained another gram despite his strange eating habits. We think it’s because he keeps blocking the others from the food.”
There was much collective blinking and sweatdropping at that, especially when Inui didn’t seem at all put off by the reply.
“Strange eating habits, eh?” Ryoma mused, “that sounds like Inui-senpai all right.”
“But is gaining one gram of weight so important to be noticed?” Taka-san wondered.
“Inui, you shouldn’t be keeping others from food,” Oishi put in. “Surely it’s not as if they’re starving us at the dining commons.”
Inui again ignored the comments, his smile growing more eerie as his glasses glinted yet again. “And how is Momo doing?” he asked instead. “After all the trouble you went to sneaking him out of the lab, is he recovering now?”
“Lab?!” Everyone stared at Momoshiro.
“Oi, Inui-senpai! What are you talking about?!” Momoshiro demanded.
But Kaidoh was already answering Inui’s question. “Aa, he’s recovering well. He’s more active than ever so I don’t think the professors are planning to euthanize him again…”
“Euthanize!” Oishi stared at Momoshiro in shock. “Momo! Why didn’t you tell us?!”
“What? But-I-never…” Momoshiro stammered, “I don’t even know what that means!”
But Kaidoh was still talking, completely oblivious to what was going on around him. “…And he also keeps eating all the food, which leaves Echizen with nothing, making the professors worried about his small size.”
“Momo!” Now it was Eiji who was suddenly hanging off of Momo’s neck. “How could you do that to Ochibi! I know you like to eat, but really!”
Echizen just blinked in confusion before pulling down his hat. Whatever was going on, he wasn’t going to get involved, especially when Inui’s glasses had started glinting almost non-stop now.
“What?! But…” Momoshiro turned to glare at Kaidoh even as he tried to pry his energetic senpai off of him in vain. “Mamushi! What the hell are you talking about!?”
Inui cut off his question with another of his own. “Is he still overly friendly? I remember back then that he kept crawling into bed with you.”
“WHAT?!” Momoshiro screamed, his voice an octave higher than usual.
Mizuki snickered. “Ne, Momoshiro-kun, I knew you kept on crashing in other people’s suites last year because you refused to go back to your assigned room, but aren’t you taking this sleeping around thing a little too far?”
Meanwhile, Kaidoh was still replying to Inui’s latest query. “Aa. However, he’s sometimes distracted by Ann-chan, so he’s not running after me all the time.”
“WHAT?!” This time it was Kamio’s turn to scream aloud as he glared pure death at the still protesting Momoshiro. “How could you, you-you-HENTAI!”
“Ne, ne, nice one, Momo,” Eiji praised from still atop Momo as said victim of the conversation blushed tomato red. “I didn’t know you had it in you!”
“Hn. Baka Momo-senpai,” muttered Echizen with more heat than was usual for him.
“Echizen! Don’t listen to them! It’s not true!” Momo was still trying to protest his innocence in vain.
“I’m not talking to you,” Echizen announced, turning his back on his senior.
Inui grinned at the chaos that he’d caused and cleared his throat. “I see. So has there been anything new that’s happened lately?” he inquired of Kaidoh again.
Kaidoh paused as if to think. “Well… Kikumaru had a new batch of babies,” he said at last, not flinching in the slightest at the dull thud of Eiji suddenly falling off of Momoshiro in shock. “The professor had to remove Oishi from her and she wasn’t happy at all.”
“BABIES!?!” The Golden Pair exclaimed in perfect unison, both blushing deeply.
“B-but-but that’s biologically impossible!” Oishi objected. “Men can’t get pregnant!”
Mukahi looked up from among the Hyotei group, where he was rolling on the ground in laughter. “Is there something you want to tell us, Kikumaru?” he taunted.
“Oi!” Eiji yelled back, “What are you trying to say! Nya! I’m a guy! Just ask Oishi!”
Fuji put in his two cents as well, his perpetual smile in place. “It’s also true that boys can’t get pregnant,” he declared. “The doctors told me the same thing when I used to take Yuuta in for his monthly hospital checkups when we were little.”
“Baka aniki!” Yuuta yelled back, “don’t drag me into this!” He fumed as everyone looked between the two Fuji siblings in curiosity and unease.
Inui merely chuckled. “Ah, is it that time of the year again?” he asked Kaidoh.
“Hai,” Kaidoh replied evenly, “Fuji’s been making moves on Atobe, but Atobe seems to prefer Tezuka more. The professor thinks it’s because she’s pregnant with Tezuka’s babies.”
At that, Hyotei’s former buchou, Atobe Keigo, promptly spat out the mouthful of tea he had just taken, spraying the sleeping Jiroh full on the face. He was still choking as the commotion around him had suddenly gone quiet, as everyone looked wide-eyed between the three people who were just named.
Tezuka’s expression was just as stern as ever, not betraying a hint of his response to the outrageous maligning of his reputation. Fuji’s eyes had snapped open and were twitching intermittently, as if he wasn’t quite sure who to direct his murderous look on – Atobe, Tezuka, Inui, or Kaidoh.
Everyone was certain that Inui must have been suicidal that day when he popped another question into the dire silence. “I see. And what about the rest of Hyotei?”
Kaidoh replied after another slight pause. At this point everyone had noticed his glazed expression. Inui ignored the sudden fixation of six glares on his person.
“Well, Jiroh is still sleeping more than is natural. I think he’s in danger of being euthanized next…”
Horrified eyes fixed themselves on the still-sleeping figure just mentioned.
“…Mukahi keeps trying to feed Oshitari strange things and we were told to watch out for food poisoning…”
Mukahi sputtered in indignation while Oshitari was promptly smacked for smirking and nodding in agreement.
“…Hiyoshi still stays in his corner and refuses to come out…”
Oshitari immediately turned to his junior and started to tease him about his reclusive ways.
“…And Shishido and Ohtori have been mating twenty times a day.”
It was now Shishido’s turn to choke. Ohtori, on the other hand, immediately protested.
“That’s not true!” he declared, “Shishido-san is much more vir--RMMPH!”
“—restrained!” Shishido finished for him, his hand clasped firmly over his kouhai’s mouth.
“I don’t know,” Mukahi teased, “that sounded more like ‘virile’ to me.”
Mizuki, however, had wandered over to stare down at Kaidoh’s zoned out form, muttering softly under his breath. “It seems that Kaidoh-kun’s data gathering skills are much more detailed than Inui’s. I didn’t know you’ve been training him in that, Inui-kun. I was right to try to get my hands on him.” He chuckled disturbingly.
Inui looked up at him, glasses glinting dangerously in a silent threat of ‘just try it’. Aloud though, he merely prompted Kaidoh further with another question. “Well enough of them. What about the other… ah, smaller systems?”
Kaidoh tilted his head slightly as he considered the question. “Anou… Kentaro keeps bumping into the glass paneling, but hasn’t managed to hurt herself yet. Saeki’s more normal, except for his unhealthy obsession with Fuji-kun. They keep destroying each other’s mating chances.”
Fuji immediately turned to glare at his rival from Rokkaku. “Saeki. How could you?!”
“What mating chances?!” Saeki sputtered in completely befuddled protest.
From where he was sitting next to a snickering Kirihara and a howling Niou, Yanagi decided that Inui shouldn’t be the only one allowed to have fun. With things going as they were, his former team was no doubt going to get dragged in as well, and if they were, he’d at least prefer to be in control. Then, raising his voice, he addressed Kaidoh directly.
“Ah, Kaidoh-kun, so how’s Rikkai doing then?” he asked loudly, then couldn’t help but add, “still spineless as ever?”
He sensed Kirihara and Marui gape at him and ignored them, along with Sanada’s dark glare and Niou’s scandalized cry of “Yanagi! You traitor!”
Kaidoh of course was already responding to the question. “Hai. Niou and Yagyuu still haven’t shown any differentiation, so we can’t tell if they’re male or female. And they keep leaving droppings everywhere, making everything hard to clean…”
Kirihara stared at his senpai-tachi in horror. “I knew that crossdressing thing was suspicious! You’ve taken it too far, senpai!”
Niou, meanwhile, was vociferously protesting both his gender and his bathroom habits. To the latter, Marui shot back with “well he does live in the same suite as you two,” indicating Kaidoh just as his own name was mentioned.
“…Marui keeps eating all the food before anyone else gets to it. Jakkaru has been pursuing hir lately but Marui hasn’t been very receptive to it…”
Marui promptly turned to his doubles partner with an arched brow. “Well, if I’d known about it, I might’ve been receptive.”
Jakkaru, at the same time, insisted loudly, “I have not!!” It was a pity that his dark complexion prevented anyone from being able to tell if he was blushing or not.
Kaidoh was still speaking. “…Kirihara has been flipping sexes so we don’t know what it’s going to settle on…”
There was a dull thud as Kirihara hit the floor in a dead faint while everyone else just stared. Kaidoh, of course, remained oblivious as he continued talking.
“…Just the other day, Sengoku and Yukimura got into another cockfight and Sengoku got lucky so I guess Yukimura’s going to be the girl this time…”
Silence descended on the gathering again as everyone stared at the two former buchou-tachi and one former fukubuchou in shock. Yukimura merely chuckled as Sanada, who had gotten to his feet, stalked toward Sengoku with a death glare o’ DOOM on his face.
Sengoku sweated as he backed away from his would-be murderer. “Eep. I don’t remember this!” he disclaimed loudly.
Kaidoh, meanwhile, had somehow made a transition away from the Rikkai roster from the mention of Sengoku. “Dan almost got eaten twice by Akutsu… and Mizuki has been trying to pry Yuuta open for the past two days, but his tentacles keep tangling up.”
There was another thud, as Yuuta became the second person to hit the ground in a faint. Fuji then copied Sanada as he advanced threateningly on Mizuki with a red haze visible in his open eyes.
Mizuki hastily backed away from Fuji, screaming his innocence as he did so. “Lies!! All lies!!” Not too many people were inclined to believe him.
Yanagi chuckled under his breath at the results of his participation. Niou immediately noticed that there was one name that Kaidoh had neglected to mention from the Rikkai roster, and set about getting revenge on Yanagi.
“Oi Kaidoh-kun!” he called out to the young man in question. “What about Yanagi?”
Kaidoh responded immediately. “Yanagi was swallowing his food whole and accidentally dislocated his jaw, so we’ve been feeding him liquids through a tube lately…”
Everyone stared blankly at Yanagi’s perfectly fine-looking jaw while Yanagi merely smiled sheepishly.
“Enough about me,” he told Kaidoh quickly, “why don’t you finish telling us about the rest, Kaidoh-kun?”
“Anou… Kamio, Ibu, and Momoshiro have been wrapped around Ann for a day now and refuse to let go, even though she was showing more interest in Tezuka-kun…”
Kamio and Momoshiro immediately started sputtering in incoherent protest again, while Tachibana turned to look sternly at his little sister, who had for reasons unknown followed the men’s tennis club to the picnic.
“Ann…” he began slowly, “is there something you want to tell me?”
Ann looked up guilelessly at her brother. “Well, Tezuka-san’s very manly, ne?” she said innocently.
Tachibana’s eyebrow spasmed as he stared at her, then he abruptly turned around and sketched a small bow to Tezuka, saying “I apologize for my sister’s forwardness.”
Tezuka nodded back in acceptance of the apology, though he still remained silent, as if hoping to ignore the madness around him as much as possible.
Meanwhile, Ibu Shinji had begun mumbling, and the acoustics of the vale they were all situated in was good enough that everyone could hear him clearly. “Well it’s only natural for her to try and go after him since Tezuka is the largest one and so he must be the most virile…”
Kamio finally couldn’t take it anymore and joined Kirihara and Yuuta in sweet oblivion. Tachibana turned to Shinji with a sharp reprimand. “Shinji!”
Shinji blinked. “What?”
Momoshiro beat Tachibana to replying first. “How could you say that?!” he demanded.
“Yeah, it’s so shallow,” Eiji put in, while adding, “even if it’s true that Tezuka is taller than just about everyone else here.”
Shinji blinked again. “I don’t see what he big ideal is,” he muttered, “they’re only snakes.”
“SNAKES?!” The revelation certainly came as a surprise for almost everyone.
“…Except for the tucos, and the birds, and the octopi, and the marine worms,” Shinji added, “from the animal labs where he’s been working at.”
Everyone looked at each other in confusion, while many were shooting a barrage of questions at Shinji. “Tucos?” “What’s that?” “So who’s what?”
Shinji chose to answer the last question first. “Well, Rikkai are the worms—”
He got no further when Niou interrupted, demanding “why are we the worms?!”
Kaidoh answered this time, reminding everyone of his still zonked-out presence. “Hanamura-sensei named them…”
Shinji completed his response. “…She was holding a grudge against Sanada for challenging Atobe to that match six years ago in the Senbatsu.”
Sanada looked up from where he had paused in his pursuit of Sengoku. “What? But Atobe challenged me.”
Shinji merely shrugged. “I guess she doesn’t think so.”
Sanada looked to Atobe for clarification, but the latter was preoccupied with staring at Tezuka to reply.
However, now that the fact that Kaidoh had not actually been referring to the people present, but their animal namesakes, had been revealed, the more mischievous (and less traumatized) of those present were immediately interested in the topic.
“So Kaidoh,” Mukahi spoke up, “tell me more about these ‘tucos’ things. Are there any more of our namesakes?”
Kaidoh promptly complied with the question. “Anou… Syuusuke and Keigo have been chasing after Tezuka, but Atobe has been very possessive and keeping everyone away…”
Meanwhile, Atobe was quietly cursing the sensei who had assigned the wretched names for the animals under his breath. “Che. Naming South American rodents after ore-sama. Damn that Hanamura.”
“…And sensei has been commenting on how Tezuka is such a stud, impregnating three females all by himself.”
Fuji smiled at his still-stoic former buchou. “Saa, you go, Tezuka.”
All he received was a glare that told him that Tezuka was very close to assigning him 100 laps.
“Ore-sama is not female,” Atobe continued to mutter under his breath. “Damn that Hanamura.”
“Heh, I want to see these tucos.” Eiji and Mukahi paused when they realized they had just spoken the same words at the same time and glared at each other. The air crackled between them.
“Oops,” Oshitari was immediately by Mukahi’s side. “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil; see no evil, hear no evil…” His hands covered his partner’s eyes, ears, and mouth in synch with his words. It was a typically dorky attempt to reign in Mukahi’s temper that was certainly not appreciated by said partner.
“Stop that!” Mukahi snapped, batting away Oshitari’s hands. “Go practice your English on Echizen!”
Echizen immediately ducked behind Momoshiro and shoved his senpai at Oishitari. “Use him instead.”
“I thought you weren’t talking to me?” Momo teased as he turned around to look at Echizen.
The younger man just tugged down his hat, uttering his usual catchphrase of “mada mada dane.”
Eiji, meanwhile, had started to drag his own partner into joining him. “Oishi, come see them with me,” he coaxed. “It’ll be just like old times when we named your fish after the team!”
Oishi sweatdropped. “Um, Eiji…” he warned his partner as he felt the sudden interested looks from the rest of his former team.
But Eiji wasn’t paying attention as always. “Remember that time when Fuji-fish kept swimming in circles because Tezuka-fish ignored him?” he reminisced enthusiastically, “and Kaidoh-fish had—MMPH!”
Oishi kept his hand firmly over his partner’s mouth as he gritted out between his teeth, “that was a long time ago, Eiji!” He sweated as he shot worried looks toward Fuji.
But the response to Eiji’s gaffe came from another source. “Kikumaru!” shouted Shishido angrily. “What kind of bad habits have you been giving your kouhai?!” he demanded, indicating the still-dazed Kaidoh. “Keep them away from Choutarou!” So saying, he immediately wrapped his arms around Ohtori’s face, smothering his partner.
Ohtori’s muffled voice could be barely heard from the vice-like grip of his senpai. “Shishido-san… can’t… breathe…”
Since Eiji was being forcibly silenced by Oishi, it was surprisingly Kaidoh who responded, talking about people instead of his animals for once. “Kikumaru-senpai hasn’t said anything to Ohtori-kun since that training thing when he kept telling him that he needs to take the initiative with Shishido-san…”
Inui gave his kouhai a sharp look and suddenly pulled out his notebook. “Ii data,” he murmured as he began to scribble into it.
“Sadaharu,” Yanagi prompted curiously, “I thought you already knew all of this.” His matter-of-fact voice clued in his fellow former teammates that he had also been in the know regarding the entire conversation from the very beginning. He was promptly made the target of several irritated glares.
Inui replied to Yanagi’s question without looking up from his writing. “I’m not taking notes on the conversation, Renji,” he said, “but on Kaidoh’s reaction to the juice. It’s acting more like a truth serum than a psi-triggered memory enhancer as I’d calculated.”
“Saa, Inui,” Fuji spoke up then. “Can I have a sample of that?”
Inui paused and looked at Fuji, mind whirling with calculations: ‘Give Fuji a sample = die at Tezuka’s hands. Don’t give him a sample = suffer at Fuji’s hands with some possibility of survival.’ Aloud, he only voiced the logical conclusion of his thoughts. “Sorry, Fuji. But that was my only prototype sample.”
Fuji retained his eerie smile. “Saa,” he demurred, “that’s too bad.”
One of Inui’s eyebrows twitched. He made a mental note to himself to increase his room’s fortifications by at least 70%. Absently, he popped a sushi piece from the plate in front of him into his mouth, realizing only after he’d bitten into it that it was a wasabi roll. He turned to Fuji with tears streaming out behind his glasses due to the spice. ‘Fuji… how could you?’ he thought rhetorically.
Meanwhile, Momoshiro had just realized something about the entire strange report Kaidoh had given. “Oi, Mamushi hasn’t talked about himself yet. There’s got to be something named after him too!” he called out, addressing Kaidoh directly. “So how’s the Kaidoh tuco or whatever like?”
Kaidoh didn’t miss a beat as he replied. “Well, he’s—” However, whatever he was going to say was lost when he suddenly stiffened and fell backwards with his eyes closed. Only Inui’s quick action caught him from hitting the ground.
“Kaidoh? Kaidoh?” Inui peered closely at his kouhai. “…Kaoru?” He patted softly at Kaidoh’s face with no result. Finally he looked up and announced unnecessarily, “He’s out. I believe the juice has finally reached its final phase.” To himself, he added, “it will be interesting to see if he maintains any memory of this event.”
“There’s only a 0.01% that he’ll remember,” Yanagi predicted. “Too bad.”
Before anyone else could respond to that, however, assistant coach Yamato suddenly popped up out of nowhere. “Well, it’s time to clean up, everyone!” he announced cheerfully. “I hope you’ve all had an enjoyable time today.”
Among all the skeptical and traumatized stares, Tezuka was the only one who replied. “Hai, Yamato-buchou.”
Everyone else promptly sweatdropped.
~* OWARI *~
Footnotes:
1. In case people are still confused about what is who and who is what in the fic, the following is a list of the names that Kaidoh used and the animals that he was referring to.
Inui, Momo, Oishi, Fuji, Tezuka, Jiroh, Oshitari, Shishido: adult male tuco
Kikumaru, Atobe, Mukahi, Ohtori: adult female tuco
Echizen, Hiyoshi: juvenile male tuco
Ann-chan, Syuusuke, Keigo: juvenile female tuco
Kentaro: juvenile female bowerbird
Saeki, Fuji-kun: adult male bowerbird
Niou, Yagyuu, Kirihara, Jakkaru, Marui, Yukimura, Sengoku: hermaphroditic marine worms
Akutsu, Dan: Fish
Mizuki: Octopus
Yuuta: Mollusk
Yanagi, Tezuka-kun: adult male snakes
Kamio, Ibu, Momoshiro: juvenile male snakes
Ann: adult female snake
2. I’m not sure if the Japanese third person pronouns for “he”, “she”, “his”, “her”, etc. make any distinction among gender as English does. I know Chinese doesn’t when spoken. Let’s assume for the purpose of this fic that Japanese doesn’t have that distinction. So the listeners to Kaidoh’s little report wouldn’t know that he was referring to females when he was talking about having babies and pregnancy.
3. Japanese-English translations:
Iya = No
Ecchi/Hentai = perverted or sexually oriented stuff
Ochibi = Kiddo. Pet nickname for a smaller boy.
Aniki = brother
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis and all associated characters belong to Konomi-sensei, not me. Also, no fish were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
Ugh. This took forever to type up.I'm sure there's oodles of spelling/grammar problems, but I'm leaving the proof reading for tomorrow. Later today. Whatever. Am going to go be unconscious now. X_X
Addendum: Fixed grammar and spelling. Though if I missed anything, feel free to point it out.
Authors:
tanithryudo & cashewSeries: Psidai AU
Fandom: Prince of Tennis
Rating: PG for innuendo
Warnings: Some OOC-ness... sort of?
Word Count: 4023
“Canon” Pairings: Atobe/Tezuka/Fuji, Golden Pair, InuKai, MomoRyo, ShishiTori, Kamio/Ann, Sanada/Yukimura, Mizuki/Yuuta
Crack Pairings: Atobe/Tezuka/Fuji, MomoKai, Fuji/Yuuta, Momo/Ann/Shinji/Kamio, Tezuka/Ann, Fuji/Atobe, Saeki/Fuji, Sengoku/Yukimura, Jakkaru/Marui
(No, there is no orgy involved)
Summary: Inui tries out his newest juice concoction on Kaidoh. Yanagi joins in. Everyone else is disturbed.
Timeline: Takes place in Inui's and Yanagi’s 3rd year (Kaidoh’s 2nd year) at Psidai, probably in the early fall when mating season is.
Notes: This fic was inspired by coke (the caffeinated kind) and watching cashew working with the tucos today. Beware the insane fangirls!
It was one of those ideas that only assistant coach Yamato could have come up with. In yet another attempt to foster “intra-club integration” of the various cliques divided among former high school teams among the undergraduates of Psidai’s tennis club, the usual victims of his plans found themselves forced together in a group picnic at one of Psidai’s many parkland extensions. And just as usual, the event started off with a lot of awkward silence and tension-filled glares between the various rivals present.
Finally, it was Inui Sadaharu, formerly of Seigaku, who attempted to breach the uneasy silence. It was perhaps an inauspicious beginning that he did so by pulling out one of his newest concoctions and waving it in front of his kouhai and unofficial roommate.
“Kaidoh, I believe I’ve finally resolved the complaints you’ve had about my drinks with this latest version of Inui Juice,” he said, grinning as light glinted off his glasses. “Would you try it?”
Kaidoh stared at the small flask of perfectly clear liquid with something akin to terror. “Iya!” he reflexively refused, trying to scoot away from his senpai.
Undaunted, Inui merely pushed up his glasses with his other hand as he kept pushing the flask at Kaidoh. “Come now, Kaoru,” he coaxed, lowering his voice teasingly, “I’ve worked hard to adjust this to your palate. Just taste it. If it’s not to your liking, then I promise that…” He leaned in close and whispered something into Kaidoh’s ear.
Whatever Inui said to him, Kaidoh merely blinked in reaction to it (and therefore his former Seigaku teammates were pretty sure it wasn’t anything ecchi). He gave Inui a suspicious look, but nevertheless accepted the flask. Under the watchful eyes of the rest of those gathered (all of whom were familiar with the reputation if not the experience of Inui’s potions), he raised it to his mouth and barely touched the liquid surface with the tip of his tongue.
There was a pause as the avid watchers waited for Kaidoh to suddenly keel over or make a run for the bushes. To their surprise, and probably to Kaidoh’s own, he was perfectly fine when he looked back up to Inui moments later with a mixed expression of wonder and wariness.
“It’s… bland,” Kaidoh murmured as if tasting the word that seemed far too alien in a sentence concerning his senpai’s potions.
Inui leaned back where he sat with a satisfied expression. “Success,” he declared. “Since you can’t stand the usual taste and don’t like sweets much either, I thought this would be the perfect solution.” He smiled at Kaidoh, his glasses glinting again. “Well? Will you drink it?”
Giving Inui one last suspicious look, Kaidoh allowed his curiosity to override his still-wary instincts for once and drained the rest of the small flask in one swallow. Again, he waited a moment for the usual pain and nausea to hit, but was pleasantly surprised that he felt nothing.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. As Kaidoh stared at the empty flask in his hands, he thought he felt a little lightheaded. But it wasn’t a bad feeling at all. Actually, it was almost pleasant, as if he was drifting away on a soft hazy cloud…
Sitting a small distance away with the rest of the former Rikkai group, Yanagi Renji smiled to himself as he heard the light whispers of surprise from all around. ‘Sadaharu,’ he thought, ‘I see you’re up to your old tricks again.”
Inui’s smile turned smug as he counted down the seconds it would take for his concoction to completely take effect, ignoring the questions being shot at him from his former teammates. He noted the exact moment when Kaidoh’s eyes glazed over and took on the inner shine that signified the activation of his psi-ability.
“By the way, Kaidoh,” he asked as he shifted closer to where the younger man sat, “how has little Inui been doing lately?”
The conversation and question around him stopped suddenly as everyone pondered the strange non-sequitor.
“Eh?” Eiji wondered aloud what everyone was thinking. “Little Inui?”
But apparently Kaidoh knew exactly who (or what) Inui was referring to. Still staring at the flask, he muttered in reply, “He’s gained another gram despite his strange eating habits. We think it’s because he keeps blocking the others from the food.”
There was much collective blinking and sweatdropping at that, especially when Inui didn’t seem at all put off by the reply.
“Strange eating habits, eh?” Ryoma mused, “that sounds like Inui-senpai all right.”
“But is gaining one gram of weight so important to be noticed?” Taka-san wondered.
“Inui, you shouldn’t be keeping others from food,” Oishi put in. “Surely it’s not as if they’re starving us at the dining commons.”
Inui again ignored the comments, his smile growing more eerie as his glasses glinted yet again. “And how is Momo doing?” he asked instead. “After all the trouble you went to sneaking him out of the lab, is he recovering now?”
“Lab?!” Everyone stared at Momoshiro.
“Oi, Inui-senpai! What are you talking about?!” Momoshiro demanded.
But Kaidoh was already answering Inui’s question. “Aa, he’s recovering well. He’s more active than ever so I don’t think the professors are planning to euthanize him again…”
“Euthanize!” Oishi stared at Momoshiro in shock. “Momo! Why didn’t you tell us?!”
“What? But-I-never…” Momoshiro stammered, “I don’t even know what that means!”
But Kaidoh was still talking, completely oblivious to what was going on around him. “…And he also keeps eating all the food, which leaves Echizen with nothing, making the professors worried about his small size.”
“Momo!” Now it was Eiji who was suddenly hanging off of Momo’s neck. “How could you do that to Ochibi! I know you like to eat, but really!”
Echizen just blinked in confusion before pulling down his hat. Whatever was going on, he wasn’t going to get involved, especially when Inui’s glasses had started glinting almost non-stop now.
“What?! But…” Momoshiro turned to glare at Kaidoh even as he tried to pry his energetic senpai off of him in vain. “Mamushi! What the hell are you talking about!?”
Inui cut off his question with another of his own. “Is he still overly friendly? I remember back then that he kept crawling into bed with you.”
“WHAT?!” Momoshiro screamed, his voice an octave higher than usual.
Mizuki snickered. “Ne, Momoshiro-kun, I knew you kept on crashing in other people’s suites last year because you refused to go back to your assigned room, but aren’t you taking this sleeping around thing a little too far?”
Meanwhile, Kaidoh was still replying to Inui’s latest query. “Aa. However, he’s sometimes distracted by Ann-chan, so he’s not running after me all the time.”
“WHAT?!” This time it was Kamio’s turn to scream aloud as he glared pure death at the still protesting Momoshiro. “How could you, you-you-HENTAI!”
“Ne, ne, nice one, Momo,” Eiji praised from still atop Momo as said victim of the conversation blushed tomato red. “I didn’t know you had it in you!”
“Hn. Baka Momo-senpai,” muttered Echizen with more heat than was usual for him.
“Echizen! Don’t listen to them! It’s not true!” Momo was still trying to protest his innocence in vain.
“I’m not talking to you,” Echizen announced, turning his back on his senior.
Inui grinned at the chaos that he’d caused and cleared his throat. “I see. So has there been anything new that’s happened lately?” he inquired of Kaidoh again.
Kaidoh paused as if to think. “Well… Kikumaru had a new batch of babies,” he said at last, not flinching in the slightest at the dull thud of Eiji suddenly falling off of Momoshiro in shock. “The professor had to remove Oishi from her and she wasn’t happy at all.”
“BABIES!?!” The Golden Pair exclaimed in perfect unison, both blushing deeply.
“B-but-but that’s biologically impossible!” Oishi objected. “Men can’t get pregnant!”
Mukahi looked up from among the Hyotei group, where he was rolling on the ground in laughter. “Is there something you want to tell us, Kikumaru?” he taunted.
“Oi!” Eiji yelled back, “What are you trying to say! Nya! I’m a guy! Just ask Oishi!”
Fuji put in his two cents as well, his perpetual smile in place. “It’s also true that boys can’t get pregnant,” he declared. “The doctors told me the same thing when I used to take Yuuta in for his monthly hospital checkups when we were little.”
“Baka aniki!” Yuuta yelled back, “don’t drag me into this!” He fumed as everyone looked between the two Fuji siblings in curiosity and unease.
Inui merely chuckled. “Ah, is it that time of the year again?” he asked Kaidoh.
“Hai,” Kaidoh replied evenly, “Fuji’s been making moves on Atobe, but Atobe seems to prefer Tezuka more. The professor thinks it’s because she’s pregnant with Tezuka’s babies.”
At that, Hyotei’s former buchou, Atobe Keigo, promptly spat out the mouthful of tea he had just taken, spraying the sleeping Jiroh full on the face. He was still choking as the commotion around him had suddenly gone quiet, as everyone looked wide-eyed between the three people who were just named.
Tezuka’s expression was just as stern as ever, not betraying a hint of his response to the outrageous maligning of his reputation. Fuji’s eyes had snapped open and were twitching intermittently, as if he wasn’t quite sure who to direct his murderous look on – Atobe, Tezuka, Inui, or Kaidoh.
Everyone was certain that Inui must have been suicidal that day when he popped another question into the dire silence. “I see. And what about the rest of Hyotei?”
Kaidoh replied after another slight pause. At this point everyone had noticed his glazed expression. Inui ignored the sudden fixation of six glares on his person.
“Well, Jiroh is still sleeping more than is natural. I think he’s in danger of being euthanized next…”
Horrified eyes fixed themselves on the still-sleeping figure just mentioned.
“…Mukahi keeps trying to feed Oshitari strange things and we were told to watch out for food poisoning…”
Mukahi sputtered in indignation while Oshitari was promptly smacked for smirking and nodding in agreement.
“…Hiyoshi still stays in his corner and refuses to come out…”
Oshitari immediately turned to his junior and started to tease him about his reclusive ways.
“…And Shishido and Ohtori have been mating twenty times a day.”
It was now Shishido’s turn to choke. Ohtori, on the other hand, immediately protested.
“That’s not true!” he declared, “Shishido-san is much more vir--RMMPH!”
“—restrained!” Shishido finished for him, his hand clasped firmly over his kouhai’s mouth.
“I don’t know,” Mukahi teased, “that sounded more like ‘virile’ to me.”
Mizuki, however, had wandered over to stare down at Kaidoh’s zoned out form, muttering softly under his breath. “It seems that Kaidoh-kun’s data gathering skills are much more detailed than Inui’s. I didn’t know you’ve been training him in that, Inui-kun. I was right to try to get my hands on him.” He chuckled disturbingly.
Inui looked up at him, glasses glinting dangerously in a silent threat of ‘just try it’. Aloud though, he merely prompted Kaidoh further with another question. “Well enough of them. What about the other… ah, smaller systems?”
Kaidoh tilted his head slightly as he considered the question. “Anou… Kentaro keeps bumping into the glass paneling, but hasn’t managed to hurt herself yet. Saeki’s more normal, except for his unhealthy obsession with Fuji-kun. They keep destroying each other’s mating chances.”
Fuji immediately turned to glare at his rival from Rokkaku. “Saeki. How could you?!”
“What mating chances?!” Saeki sputtered in completely befuddled protest.
From where he was sitting next to a snickering Kirihara and a howling Niou, Yanagi decided that Inui shouldn’t be the only one allowed to have fun. With things going as they were, his former team was no doubt going to get dragged in as well, and if they were, he’d at least prefer to be in control. Then, raising his voice, he addressed Kaidoh directly.
“Ah, Kaidoh-kun, so how’s Rikkai doing then?” he asked loudly, then couldn’t help but add, “still spineless as ever?”
He sensed Kirihara and Marui gape at him and ignored them, along with Sanada’s dark glare and Niou’s scandalized cry of “Yanagi! You traitor!”
Kaidoh of course was already responding to the question. “Hai. Niou and Yagyuu still haven’t shown any differentiation, so we can’t tell if they’re male or female. And they keep leaving droppings everywhere, making everything hard to clean…”
Kirihara stared at his senpai-tachi in horror. “I knew that crossdressing thing was suspicious! You’ve taken it too far, senpai!”
Niou, meanwhile, was vociferously protesting both his gender and his bathroom habits. To the latter, Marui shot back with “well he does live in the same suite as you two,” indicating Kaidoh just as his own name was mentioned.
“…Marui keeps eating all the food before anyone else gets to it. Jakkaru has been pursuing hir lately but Marui hasn’t been very receptive to it…”
Marui promptly turned to his doubles partner with an arched brow. “Well, if I’d known about it, I might’ve been receptive.”
Jakkaru, at the same time, insisted loudly, “I have not!!” It was a pity that his dark complexion prevented anyone from being able to tell if he was blushing or not.
Kaidoh was still speaking. “…Kirihara has been flipping sexes so we don’t know what it’s going to settle on…”
There was a dull thud as Kirihara hit the floor in a dead faint while everyone else just stared. Kaidoh, of course, remained oblivious as he continued talking.
“…Just the other day, Sengoku and Yukimura got into another cockfight and Sengoku got lucky so I guess Yukimura’s going to be the girl this time…”
Silence descended on the gathering again as everyone stared at the two former buchou-tachi and one former fukubuchou in shock. Yukimura merely chuckled as Sanada, who had gotten to his feet, stalked toward Sengoku with a death glare o’ DOOM on his face.
Sengoku sweated as he backed away from his would-be murderer. “Eep. I don’t remember this!” he disclaimed loudly.
Kaidoh, meanwhile, had somehow made a transition away from the Rikkai roster from the mention of Sengoku. “Dan almost got eaten twice by Akutsu… and Mizuki has been trying to pry Yuuta open for the past two days, but his tentacles keep tangling up.”
There was another thud, as Yuuta became the second person to hit the ground in a faint. Fuji then copied Sanada as he advanced threateningly on Mizuki with a red haze visible in his open eyes.
Mizuki hastily backed away from Fuji, screaming his innocence as he did so. “Lies!! All lies!!” Not too many people were inclined to believe him.
Yanagi chuckled under his breath at the results of his participation. Niou immediately noticed that there was one name that Kaidoh had neglected to mention from the Rikkai roster, and set about getting revenge on Yanagi.
“Oi Kaidoh-kun!” he called out to the young man in question. “What about Yanagi?”
Kaidoh responded immediately. “Yanagi was swallowing his food whole and accidentally dislocated his jaw, so we’ve been feeding him liquids through a tube lately…”
Everyone stared blankly at Yanagi’s perfectly fine-looking jaw while Yanagi merely smiled sheepishly.
“Enough about me,” he told Kaidoh quickly, “why don’t you finish telling us about the rest, Kaidoh-kun?”
“Anou… Kamio, Ibu, and Momoshiro have been wrapped around Ann for a day now and refuse to let go, even though she was showing more interest in Tezuka-kun…”
Kamio and Momoshiro immediately started sputtering in incoherent protest again, while Tachibana turned to look sternly at his little sister, who had for reasons unknown followed the men’s tennis club to the picnic.
“Ann…” he began slowly, “is there something you want to tell me?”
Ann looked up guilelessly at her brother. “Well, Tezuka-san’s very manly, ne?” she said innocently.
Tachibana’s eyebrow spasmed as he stared at her, then he abruptly turned around and sketched a small bow to Tezuka, saying “I apologize for my sister’s forwardness.”
Tezuka nodded back in acceptance of the apology, though he still remained silent, as if hoping to ignore the madness around him as much as possible.
Meanwhile, Ibu Shinji had begun mumbling, and the acoustics of the vale they were all situated in was good enough that everyone could hear him clearly. “Well it’s only natural for her to try and go after him since Tezuka is the largest one and so he must be the most virile…”
Kamio finally couldn’t take it anymore and joined Kirihara and Yuuta in sweet oblivion. Tachibana turned to Shinji with a sharp reprimand. “Shinji!”
Shinji blinked. “What?”
Momoshiro beat Tachibana to replying first. “How could you say that?!” he demanded.
“Yeah, it’s so shallow,” Eiji put in, while adding, “even if it’s true that Tezuka is taller than just about everyone else here.”
Shinji blinked again. “I don’t see what he big ideal is,” he muttered, “they’re only snakes.”
“SNAKES?!” The revelation certainly came as a surprise for almost everyone.
“…Except for the tucos, and the birds, and the octopi, and the marine worms,” Shinji added, “from the animal labs where he’s been working at.”
Everyone looked at each other in confusion, while many were shooting a barrage of questions at Shinji. “Tucos?” “What’s that?” “So who’s what?”
Shinji chose to answer the last question first. “Well, Rikkai are the worms—”
He got no further when Niou interrupted, demanding “why are we the worms?!”
Kaidoh answered this time, reminding everyone of his still zonked-out presence. “Hanamura-sensei named them…”
Shinji completed his response. “…She was holding a grudge against Sanada for challenging Atobe to that match six years ago in the Senbatsu.”
Sanada looked up from where he had paused in his pursuit of Sengoku. “What? But Atobe challenged me.”
Shinji merely shrugged. “I guess she doesn’t think so.”
Sanada looked to Atobe for clarification, but the latter was preoccupied with staring at Tezuka to reply.
However, now that the fact that Kaidoh had not actually been referring to the people present, but their animal namesakes, had been revealed, the more mischievous (and less traumatized) of those present were immediately interested in the topic.
“So Kaidoh,” Mukahi spoke up, “tell me more about these ‘tucos’ things. Are there any more of our namesakes?”
Kaidoh promptly complied with the question. “Anou… Syuusuke and Keigo have been chasing after Tezuka, but Atobe has been very possessive and keeping everyone away…”
Meanwhile, Atobe was quietly cursing the sensei who had assigned the wretched names for the animals under his breath. “Che. Naming South American rodents after ore-sama. Damn that Hanamura.”
“…And sensei has been commenting on how Tezuka is such a stud, impregnating three females all by himself.”
Fuji smiled at his still-stoic former buchou. “Saa, you go, Tezuka.”
All he received was a glare that told him that Tezuka was very close to assigning him 100 laps.
“Ore-sama is not female,” Atobe continued to mutter under his breath. “Damn that Hanamura.”
“Heh, I want to see these tucos.” Eiji and Mukahi paused when they realized they had just spoken the same words at the same time and glared at each other. The air crackled between them.
“Oops,” Oshitari was immediately by Mukahi’s side. “See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil; see no evil, hear no evil…” His hands covered his partner’s eyes, ears, and mouth in synch with his words. It was a typically dorky attempt to reign in Mukahi’s temper that was certainly not appreciated by said partner.
“Stop that!” Mukahi snapped, batting away Oshitari’s hands. “Go practice your English on Echizen!”
Echizen immediately ducked behind Momoshiro and shoved his senpai at Oishitari. “Use him instead.”
“I thought you weren’t talking to me?” Momo teased as he turned around to look at Echizen.
The younger man just tugged down his hat, uttering his usual catchphrase of “mada mada dane.”
Eiji, meanwhile, had started to drag his own partner into joining him. “Oishi, come see them with me,” he coaxed. “It’ll be just like old times when we named your fish after the team!”
Oishi sweatdropped. “Um, Eiji…” he warned his partner as he felt the sudden interested looks from the rest of his former team.
But Eiji wasn’t paying attention as always. “Remember that time when Fuji-fish kept swimming in circles because Tezuka-fish ignored him?” he reminisced enthusiastically, “and Kaidoh-fish had—MMPH!”
Oishi kept his hand firmly over his partner’s mouth as he gritted out between his teeth, “that was a long time ago, Eiji!” He sweated as he shot worried looks toward Fuji.
But the response to Eiji’s gaffe came from another source. “Kikumaru!” shouted Shishido angrily. “What kind of bad habits have you been giving your kouhai?!” he demanded, indicating the still-dazed Kaidoh. “Keep them away from Choutarou!” So saying, he immediately wrapped his arms around Ohtori’s face, smothering his partner.
Ohtori’s muffled voice could be barely heard from the vice-like grip of his senpai. “Shishido-san… can’t… breathe…”
Since Eiji was being forcibly silenced by Oishi, it was surprisingly Kaidoh who responded, talking about people instead of his animals for once. “Kikumaru-senpai hasn’t said anything to Ohtori-kun since that training thing when he kept telling him that he needs to take the initiative with Shishido-san…”
Inui gave his kouhai a sharp look and suddenly pulled out his notebook. “Ii data,” he murmured as he began to scribble into it.
“Sadaharu,” Yanagi prompted curiously, “I thought you already knew all of this.” His matter-of-fact voice clued in his fellow former teammates that he had also been in the know regarding the entire conversation from the very beginning. He was promptly made the target of several irritated glares.
Inui replied to Yanagi’s question without looking up from his writing. “I’m not taking notes on the conversation, Renji,” he said, “but on Kaidoh’s reaction to the juice. It’s acting more like a truth serum than a psi-triggered memory enhancer as I’d calculated.”
“Saa, Inui,” Fuji spoke up then. “Can I have a sample of that?”
Inui paused and looked at Fuji, mind whirling with calculations: ‘Give Fuji a sample = die at Tezuka’s hands. Don’t give him a sample = suffer at Fuji’s hands with some possibility of survival.’ Aloud, he only voiced the logical conclusion of his thoughts. “Sorry, Fuji. But that was my only prototype sample.”
Fuji retained his eerie smile. “Saa,” he demurred, “that’s too bad.”
One of Inui’s eyebrows twitched. He made a mental note to himself to increase his room’s fortifications by at least 70%. Absently, he popped a sushi piece from the plate in front of him into his mouth, realizing only after he’d bitten into it that it was a wasabi roll. He turned to Fuji with tears streaming out behind his glasses due to the spice. ‘Fuji… how could you?’ he thought rhetorically.
Meanwhile, Momoshiro had just realized something about the entire strange report Kaidoh had given. “Oi, Mamushi hasn’t talked about himself yet. There’s got to be something named after him too!” he called out, addressing Kaidoh directly. “So how’s the Kaidoh tuco or whatever like?”
Kaidoh didn’t miss a beat as he replied. “Well, he’s—” However, whatever he was going to say was lost when he suddenly stiffened and fell backwards with his eyes closed. Only Inui’s quick action caught him from hitting the ground.
“Kaidoh? Kaidoh?” Inui peered closely at his kouhai. “…Kaoru?” He patted softly at Kaidoh’s face with no result. Finally he looked up and announced unnecessarily, “He’s out. I believe the juice has finally reached its final phase.” To himself, he added, “it will be interesting to see if he maintains any memory of this event.”
“There’s only a 0.01% that he’ll remember,” Yanagi predicted. “Too bad.”
Before anyone else could respond to that, however, assistant coach Yamato suddenly popped up out of nowhere. “Well, it’s time to clean up, everyone!” he announced cheerfully. “I hope you’ve all had an enjoyable time today.”
Among all the skeptical and traumatized stares, Tezuka was the only one who replied. “Hai, Yamato-buchou.”
Everyone else promptly sweatdropped.
Footnotes:
1. In case people are still confused about what is who and who is what in the fic, the following is a list of the names that Kaidoh used and the animals that he was referring to.
Inui, Momo, Oishi, Fuji, Tezuka, Jiroh, Oshitari, Shishido: adult male tuco
Kikumaru, Atobe, Mukahi, Ohtori: adult female tuco
Echizen, Hiyoshi: juvenile male tuco
Ann-chan, Syuusuke, Keigo: juvenile female tuco
Kentaro: juvenile female bowerbird
Saeki, Fuji-kun: adult male bowerbird
Niou, Yagyuu, Kirihara, Jakkaru, Marui, Yukimura, Sengoku: hermaphroditic marine worms
Akutsu, Dan: Fish
Mizuki: Octopus
Yuuta: Mollusk
Yanagi, Tezuka-kun: adult male snakes
Kamio, Ibu, Momoshiro: juvenile male snakes
Ann: adult female snake
2. I’m not sure if the Japanese third person pronouns for “he”, “she”, “his”, “her”, etc. make any distinction among gender as English does. I know Chinese doesn’t when spoken. Let’s assume for the purpose of this fic that Japanese doesn’t have that distinction. So the listeners to Kaidoh’s little report wouldn’t know that he was referring to females when he was talking about having babies and pregnancy.
3. Japanese-English translations:
Iya = No
Ecchi/Hentai = perverted or sexually oriented stuff
Ochibi = Kiddo. Pet nickname for a smaller boy.
Aniki = brother
Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis and all associated characters belong to Konomi-sensei, not me. Also, no fish were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
Ugh. This took forever to type up.
Addendum: Fixed grammar and spelling. Though if I missed anything, feel free to point it out.
